New page!

I just realize I never posted that I began a new page! I felt this one had some baggage I wanted to let go of. So come follow me! http://imperfecthought.blogspot.com/

What matters in the end?

  It's amazing how God can work events, conversations and experiences together to share His heart. Here's what He has been talking to me about this week..

  It may sound a little morbid, but I enjoy reading online articles or journals written first hand by those who are terminally ill. Ok, that sounds extremely insensitive in words, I don't enjoy that they are sick or dying.. but there's something about their perspective that is so organic, so real. It wakes you up to reality. It's almost as if you are gaining parts to the "secret to life". I mean that's what we're all trying to accomplish, right? To be happy and live a fulfilling life on earth, to "get it right". Some of us are striving to be successful at work, or in school;or to make an impact in our community or giving your best to our family, it's different for everyone. We all want fulfillment in whatever way we feel we need it. But in the end, is the fulfillment you are striving for important? 

  The things I've observed by reading these journals, are that the writers all seem to want two of the same things: more time, and to be remembered. Sure they all have bucket lists, they have places they wish they could go and things to see. In comparison, when their individual stories are stripped down to the basics they all seem to really desire these two things and not yet have I found them to be about outward accomplishments. They do usually have to do with relationships. Relationships with friends and family. They wish they could do some things over, not for it to be different but to have taken the time to savor the memories. They long for assurance that nobody will ever forget them. That even when their friends are grown, that they'll be remembered.. that when their children are grown with children of their own, that they will share stories and keep their memory alive. How do we make memories? How do we make the best of our years? Relationship(s). By being part of something bigger than ourselves. By loving people regardless of their ethnicity, physical appearance, sex, ability, beliefs. Just love people, spend time with people. Time.Take time to play with your children, take time laughing with your spouse, spend time reminiscing with your parents and grandparents. Take time to reflect. Is it always easy? Nope. But relationships are clearly what matters "in the end", not just for yourself, but a gift for those who leave this earth before you to feel as if they'll be remembered; and a gift, an impact for those you leave behind.

  Relationship. What does it mean to you? Time. What are you doing with it? Being remembered. What kind of imprint will you leave on this earth?

Philippians 2:4-6
Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion,  then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.  Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
 Who, being in very nature God,
    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;

rather, he made himself nothing
    by taking the very nature of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.
 And being found in appearance as a man,
    he humbled himself
    by becoming obedient to death—
        even death on a cross!
 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
    and gave him the name that is above every name,
 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
    to the glory of God the Father.
 
   It's through our earthly relationships, that we can encourage others to seek the most important relationship, the everlasting one. In the end it takes relationship to give life, and it's the only thing you can take with you.

In Your Life, or in the Way of Your Life?

   A quick story before I get to my point. Before having my son, I worked in a daycare with many underprivileged kids (not all of them, but more than not). One little girl had a very rough situation.. her and I connected and she touched my heart so deeply, I remember her the best out of all the kids that went through there and pray for her from time to time. While at the carnival on Monday, I saw her and my heart was so happy to just know she's ok :) I watched her big smile as she enjoyed one of the rides we were in line for and it was the same beautiful smile she had at 4 years old. She must be about 11 or 12 now, she is taller than me, and she probably doesn't remember me.. but I felt as though I found a long lost child, and just wanted to run over and hug her and tell her how much I've missed her.

   In the same way, I know God was showing me how He feels about those who once walked with Him. Everyday spending time with them, watching them grow and just having that personal relationship with them. He was showing me how much He still loves them and thinks about them, even after they've walked away. He taught me that emotional meaning of the parable about the prodigal son, and showed me a glimpse of the joy and fullness that comes of a child returning home. It's beyond all human intensity and ability to understand how much He truly loves us!

  I believe those who know the truth, but maybe have lost the desire to walk and talk with Him daily, are in need a fervent prayer. I'm not talking about those who don't attend church weekly, your church attendance record doesn't measure your relationship with Jesus at all. I'm talking about those inside and outside of the church who believe in Him, who may love Him, but don't necessarily KNOW Him.

  I have noticed a rise in "Apostate Christianity", which is mentioned in the book of Revelation. I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. Rev 3:15-17 I know I have sat through those conversations with people where they know all the scriptures, and know all about the teaching of Jesus and say they believe.. but there's almost a lack of evidence in their life. It seems as though they keep just enough of Jesus as a " feel-safe", while justifying their own lusts by finding others who agree with them. They search for loop-holes, and live without fear of Him. They fail to realize that their "loop-holes" are self-made, to avoid the convictions they feel. So what do we do? How do we reach out to them? Well, probably the best way.. to follow what God's word tell us.

 Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching. For a time is coming when people will no longer listen to sound and wholesome teaching. They will follow their own desires and will look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. They will reject the truth and chase after myths. But you should keep a clear mind in every situation. Don’t be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Work at telling others the Good News, and fully carry out the ministry God has given you.- 2 Timothy 4:2-5

   Why should we focus on them? Because they are part of the flock.They are the church attenders, who are part of every ministry because they need to feel accepted, but have they accepted Him? They are the sons and daughters of Christ who have either been mislead, or hurt, or just simply fell away. They are the ones who claim victory, but run after other "idols" in their lives. They are on their way to destruction. “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’ Matthew 7:21-23 They are in need of encouragement, and guidance, and most importantly love. And lastly, God deems them as worthy of His affection as we are.

   Time is growing short my friends. It's time to get up, time to let those passions become callings, and those burdens to become the drive of your ministries! It's time we rise up.

Blood Drive

   A funny little story to begin. We took our son Malakai (5) to the park this weekend and along the road were signs promoting a Blood Drive that was taking place. Malakai is a huge Scooby-Doo fan, and his imagination is always on full-force, and blood is NOT his favorite subject.. lol. [just to paint a mental picture for you to surround the following conversation]:

Malakai: Daddy!! Did you see that? They call this road.. **dramatic gulp of fear** BLOOD DRIVE!!
Mom and Dad: **insert hysterical laughter**
Dad: No buddy, a blood drive is when you give your blood to help save someones life who may need it.
Malakai: **insert look of disgust and horror** 

  Conversations like these are why I love being around kids!! But also, because their innocence teaches us so much, they are truly pure in spirit. There's nothing better in this life, when God uses your own child and information you taught them to speak to you. So as funny as the conversation on Saturday was.. Sunday it came back to blow me away. 

  Sunday we went to the early service, and during announcements, the speaker shared upcoming events and the fact there was a blood drive taking place on campus. I started to giggle, as Malakai's eyes grew wide hearing the words BLOOD DRIVE in church. Then he breathed a sigh of relief and giggled saying "Oh I know.. they're talking about the blood drive Jesus did." It made me stop giggling, and just look at my beautiful child in astonishment with the connection he made. What a concept!

   Since then, it's been playing over in my mind.. "the blood drive Jesus did." In essence, that is what He did.. He GAVE blood, so that WE may have LIFE! I love when I get a new perspective on what Jesus gave. Through our belief and proclamation of the life of Jesus Christ and the fact that He died on the cross in atonement for us, is like getting a blood transfusion. It gives life to a dying soul, it gives us a new beginning.. and His blood type matches everyone's, you just need to ask for it! It replenishes and enhances. Without this transfusion, you will die. His blood adds to your life, what you cannot do on your own. 

 Though His blood drive happened on earth years ago... it has yet to expire and never will. Transfusions are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 

Revelation 1:5-6
5 and from Jesus Christ, who is the faithful witness, the firstborn from the dead, and the ruler of the kings of the earth. To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, 6 and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father—to him be glory and power for ever and ever! Amen. 

"Indef"

   Jay and I met a man today at McDonald's who was spending time with his great-grandkids, watching them play in the play place. He was a man, probably in his 70's or 80's.. with white hair and a beard. He took great pride in his family and the fact that last year he got to play Santa at his great-grandson's school. He was even more proud about his 26 years in the Navy. He showed us his Navy ID card with the expiration date stating "Indef". He shared how he could hop aboard any military plane, and go anywhere in the world.. but after 26 years traveling in the military, he never wanted to leave the states. He told us how it was hard, that he was gone all the time but he remained faithful to his wife and they had 4 children, some of which he wasn't able to be around for their birth. 

  As he talked, we noticed he began repeating himself, word for word. The more he talked about his life, the more I realized how sad he was. Sad about the events he missed out on, and a deep sadness hid in his eyes.. a loneliness, maybe the memories of war and the experiences he wished to not share. He would occasionally stop and ask "Did I already tell you about this?" Some times I would say yes.. but other times I would let him go on. I couldn't really tell if it was the beginning of Alzheimer's, or the long lasting effects of war. I guess either scenario doesn't really matter. He is a man who sacrificed so his family could have a better life, even if that meant not being able to be there for a lot of it. He is a man who fought to support and defend this country, even if this country didn't always support and defend him. A true Veteran, a true hard-working man. 

   What touched me so much about this man, was how full of life he still was, how he is still very much a fighter today in a different way. He knows his memory isn't perfect, yet he goes out of his way to strike up conversation with strangers. He puts a smile on his face and reaches out to share his life with others. He wasn't always able to physically be there for his children, but is making efforts to fix that with his grandchildren and great-grandchildren. He is out LIVING because he is ALIVE. How precious life is to him. It was an honor to meet him, and an honor to speak with him, even if he won't remember it. 

  His Navy ID.. Expiration Date: "Indef", speaks more than just to travel. It speaks of Indefinite sacrifice, Indefinite appreciation for life, and Indefinite effects of war.  I only pray that in my life.. I can be marked with such attributes by my Heavenly Father and to never lose zest and zeal for life, no matter what may come.  

You can't Handle it Without Him

I always hear people say "God will never give you more than you can handle." I also see a lot of comments protesting against this saying, some include: "God won't give me more than I can handle, He must think I'm pretty strong!" "I've heard God won't give you more than you can handle.. well I'm at my breaking point!" I thought to myself the last few times, does this even come from the Bible? So I looked it up, and here's what I found.

The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.- 1 Corinthians 10:13

  The scripture above speaks of false idols, temptations or anything that we would put first, before Christ. The truth is, yes, we will have things in our lives that we cannot handle on our own. There will be hard times, there will be loss, there will be battles in and of ourselves as well as with others. But He is so faithful, that He is telling us "I've got this..", "I won't let you fall". Remember playing CandyLand and picking the card with the candy that is closest to the Castle? (somehow my 5 y/o pick that every time! I'm not bitter..) That's what God does for us, He give us a way out and by doing so, it is not we who handle anything, but God Himself. 

  There will be times when we struggle to get up, when it hurts to move on. Times when it seems it would be better to give in, and give up. Yet, He steps in and gives us a motive. He is our strength:

But the Lord is faithful; he will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one.- 2 Thessalonians 3:3 

  There are times we think we are going to lose it, that we're at breaking point and He's right there ASKING for us to give Him our problems, our stress. He grants us endurance:

Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you.
He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.- Psalm 55:22

 

And just when we think we are done "relying" on Him, and we're laying prostrate, exhausted from carrying or sobbing.. what does He do? He gives us rest:


Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.- Matthew 11:28


When He is ruler of Your heart, the saying has some truth to it.. He won't give us anything we can't handle with His help. I would be lying if I said I never uttered the old saying myself, but I will never use it again. Why? I see too many being hurt by the misinterpretation, too many people become angry. The fact is, we sometimes can't handle things on our own strength or might.. but only through His spirit. I thank God that when temptation rears it's ugly head, that there's a bridge waiting for me to put me back on course. He gives us peace in our hearts, indescribable peace even though our world is falling apart around us.. our hearts hold steadfast under His wing. "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33


<>< Blessings!

A Servant or a Slave?

"Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors."- Matthew 6:12


As humans, we have all yearned for things we didn't necessarily need. That newer car, faster computer, new shoes etc. As imperfect and impatient humans, most of us have all fallen in to, at one point or another borrowing money or "charging it" or taking a loan from the bank. But what happens when we accumulate too much debt? We stress out, we over work and all in all we become consumed and obsessed with trying to keep up. Debt becomes our master, in turn making us slaves to it's every whim. It's weight wears us down, and it's image embeds itself in our minds keeping us from rest. There comes a time when we ask ourselves "Who/What is in charge of my life?"


The Lord asks us to not serve two masters, and does not want us to become slaves to self and in turn to worldly desires. Some times that's really, really hard; especially in this economy, where we feel like we have to fend for ourselves. But what does His word say about our needs?


Do not worry. Do not keep saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or, ‘What will we drink?’ or, ‘What will we wear?’ The people who do not know God are looking for all these things. Your Father in heaven knows you need all these things.- Matthew 6:31


There are many desires that we can fall in to serving. Many things we enjoy or we dream about, can slowly become Masters of our lives if we let them. It's okay to have dreams and desires, in fact the very desires of your heart were put there by none other than God, Himself! But it is in how we treat these desires that makes them blessings or nightmares. Does this mean He doesn't want us to dare to dream? Noway. Does this mean we are not to be consumers of the "in" things? Of course not. He wants us to enjoy life, but he wants us to be content first and foremost. He wants us free from worry and burdens. More than anything, He wants to be the ONLY Master of our lives! He calls us to serve Him, not as slaves, but as servants who have a choice.

Yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth. After all, we brought nothing with us when we came into the world, and we can’t take anything with us when we leave it.- 1 Timothy 6:5-7


So ask yourself this, are you a slave to a temporary master; or a servant of the everlasting Lord?

Salvation: a pardon, not a blanket.

     **Warning: This may offend you.. some of it may offend me, even as the writer** 

¹⁴ Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. ¹⁵ Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.- Ephesians 4:14-16

    What is sin? My dear friend, Webster gives several definitions but two I think, say it the best. Sin: a vitiated state of human nature in which self is estranged from God. Sin: an often serious shortcoming: fault. If there's one pet peeve I have about modern-day teaching, it's the outlook of "if I don't feel convicted, it's not a sin." Say what!? This is such a scary, and flawed way of thinking. Where in the bible does Jesus say, "do what you want, that's what I'm here for!"?? (Hmm.. there must be a hidden page that I missed.) Am I saying I am innocent of this frame of mind some times? Far from the truth. I think everyone at one point or another has selfishly allowed themselves to become "desensitized" from conviction. Our attitude of being saved, should be reflected to others by living in humility to our Savior, not making everything "ok". It seems as if we walk around bragging about our Salvation as if we deserved it and can do what we want with it, instead of sharing in humility what it can do for others. Jesus paid much too high a price, and we should be mindful of how we walk the walk. 

No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.- Matthew 6:24 (mammon means: material wealth or possessions especially as having a debasing influence) 

    What is Salvation? Salvation: deliverance from the power and effects of sin. If you risked your life to save someone who was drowning in a rushing river, and they turned around and jumped right back in, how angry would you be? Then why would you claim that because you are "saved", that it's ok for you to sin because you are forgiven? Is this not the voice of someone who is childish in their thinking? We should be begging for His mercy, and yet it is new every morning. When we are saved, we are receiving the greatest gift.. a pardon from sin, that we should not suffer the effects of sin. The wages of sin is death, and through salvation we are conquerors over the grave! When we receive Him, we die to ourselves.. we die to OUR desires, die to OUR wills and surrender them ALL to HIM. We are not perfect, and we will all fall short.. otherwise, salvation would be achieved through self and not Christ. But we need to make a stand.. to truly serve Him, with all our heart, mind, soul and strength and ALL the time. We are privileged to have the honor of being called a Christian. The life we live, is no longer our own. 

¹⁵ “I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! ¹⁶ But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!-Revelation 3:15-16

   What is a Christian? We shouldn't need a dictionary for that one. A Christian is someone who has professed that Christ is Lord, and believes in His teachings. Some one who has been fully, and wonderfully washed by the blood of the Lamb. In essence, simply: a follower of Christ, to strive to be Christ-like. Does it mean you have to be sheltered and phony? Of course not. But be mindful of your actions, because the world is always watching and always waiting to call you out on it. I too have days where I feel so set apart from those around me who aren't saved. I fear living in these days, which I truly believe are the last days, the fact that we are set apart from the world will become more and more evident. But don't let it consume you, don't let it steer you away from surrendering to His perfect will. If anything, let it be your driving force, let it remind you that there are still so many lost. Pray for your loved ones, especially in those times you feel outcast.. there's a reason you feel that way, the enemy doesn't want you praying for them. Don't live your life trying to be with the "in-crowd", someday you may just find yourself stuck in the sea of people, unable to hear His voice clearly. Above all, live your life to glorify Him in all that you say and all that you do, until that great day comes!

 “I know all the things you do, and that you have a reputation for being alive—but you are dead.² Wake up! Strengthen what little remains, for even what is left is almost dead. I find that your actions do not meet the requirements of my God. ³ Go back to what you heard and believed at first; hold to it firmly. Repent and turn to me again. If you don’t wake up, I will come to you suddenly, as unexpected as a thief."- Revelation 3:1-3

 

Keep fighting the good fight in His name! <><

  

The Peace of God

  This past week was one of those long, grueling weeks. The kind where you subconsciously numb yourself just to get through it. This one was a little different for me, as last week during a devotional with a group of friends we were challenged to make time with God a priority every day and keep the peace of Jesus in our hearts. Though I was feeling miserable in my mind, I had that blessed assurance, and tranquility. I didn't get depressed and feel defeated. (I had moments when I started to fall down) I kept my hands stretched out (Of course metaphorically! Otherwise, I think I would have some major circulation problems just about now!) and the peace remained in my heart, and when peace remains in your heart it functions somewhat the same, as when it pumps blood, and radiates it to your mind and soul.
  Then came last night (Friday). Money is tight right now, it's stressful and frustrating when you have to juggle finances. I had that "this sucks" attitude, and just wanted bed time to come so I could sleep it all away. While I was cooking I popped on the iPod as usual, normally I shuffle it but this time I put on Chris Tomlin and "Our God" came on. My son Kai, was in and out of the kitchen until this point, when he stopped and just hung out. He made me play the song over again... and again.. and again. He began dancing in the kitchen singing along with the chorus "Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other", then he stopped and said "OH, I'll be right back!" A few moments later he came back in with his toy electric guitar, and even though the guitar plays it's own song, he said "Ok, let's rock out! Play it again!" It made me laugh, but during that time watching him strum along (to the rhythm, makes me proud! haha) I heard that still, small voice once again, how many times did I need to hear those words to realize their meaning. How many times did I sing along within that span of 20 mins, so completely focused on my circumstance, and completely block out the reason/meaning of those words?
   I started to claim that for myself. MY GOD is GREATER, MY GOD is STRONGER, MY GOD is HIGHER than any other! It brought that peace back in to my heart. That assurance. Even though I don't always feel like things are going to be ok, there is a peace within me where I know He's got this. If He is with me, what can stand against??
  By the time Jay arrived, Kai decided they needed to rock out together.. so Jay sat down and got out the guitar, and they played in the song over and over. The more they played, the more His peace consumed our household, and along with His peace came His joy! I prayed that this wouldn't be the last time our family entered in to worship together, and that there will always be spontaneous "Rock Out" sessions in our home. It makes my heart glad that my son, who is only 4.. is already being used to bring Him glory and pray it continues as he grows.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” - Phillipians 4:6-7

Love Them

   People watching, it's always interesting! I think it's some thing we all enjoy doing and for many different reasons. Some enjoy fashion, some enjoy picking out the quirky things they see people doing.. it's fun to see how people react to each other and their environment. Some times we're just plain intrigued with an individual's choice of actions, or dress.. haha! In any case, it's enjoyable to some extent.


  Lately I catch myself people watching a lot more than I used to. But it's not the surface things that concern me (although some can be .. interesting to say the least), I feel a tug to look at people closer. As I watch I can hear the words "Love them." Love them? I don't even know them. We are commanded by Christ himself to love. He doesn't ask us to love only those we know, but to also love those we don't know. I find myself more and more, asking Him to give me eyes like His. 
  Now, I am not a "crier", my tears don't flow easily. Yet, I find myself crying in other ways lately. Watching people living to die and dying to live.. it brings a huge sorrow, and sorrow is uncomfortable for me. Still, I watch and hear "Love them." I can't help but marvel at the wonder of His love.. does my definition of love even remotely match His? I look at these complete strangers and just see a deep deep sorrow, I can't fix that.. but I can offer love. What is love? Maybe it's doing the only thing you are capable of at that given moment.. a smile, a prayer (silent or out loud).. a simple "Hello!" to just acknowledge their existence. I believe by these gestures, we are in some small way allowing His love to shine through us, so that His compassion, His spirit, can reach out to their souls, even without their knowledge. 
  I know the Lord is speaking to my heart, burdening me to move forward in His plans for my life. I have slowly over the years seen answers to prayers for the friends and family of my hometown to know Him. This is just the next step. I truly believe to begin to love people as a whole, is the greatest step we can take in fulfilling our mission here on earth. To take God's word to the ends of the earth, or even the ends of your street.. you must first learn to love. 


And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’ -Matthew 25:40

Beautiful Victory!

  I love Easter time.. why? Because it's a time of the year that brings us to a state of reflection, and every year I seem to learn something new about His love for us.This past year has been an extreme stretch of faith and perseverance, and I would be lying if I said I didn't want to walk away from the struggles and give up. But if there's anything I have learned, through struggle and hardship, comes a beautiful victory. This is the part of His love I have learned about this year. We will find beauty in pain, if we keep our eyes on Him. We see it in His sacrifice for us.. out of the struggles and sorrow Christ endured on the cross for us, came the most beautiful and perfect love story ever told! I believe through Him, and in Him we find the victory not just at Easter, but in every day situations. (and not so every day situations)
 If you're in a struggle today, whether it be big or small.. I urge you to keep pushing through and keep fighting. It's not comfortable and it's not easy.. but I assure you to every hardship, there is a beautiful ending.. you just need to get through the ugly part first. The victory is already there on the other side waiting for us, we need only to claim it!

"Now this I know: The LORD gives victory to his anointed. He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary with the victorious power of his right hand."- Psalm 20:5-7

A Lesson in Trust

   My son puts me to shame some times.. he woke me up one night because he had a bad dream. Half-wake, I let him climb in bed to tell me about it and cuddle, and fell back asleep. He woke me up again a little while later saying, "Mommy, can we pray?" So I said, "Sure buddy, let's pray.." He held my hand and started to pray out loud himself, for Jesus to help him not have bad dreams. I gave him a kiss, and rubbed his forehead and he was out in seconds. He knew who to go to for peace. He knew who to run to in his darkest hour. Why is it, that it's so easy for a child to grasp and believe in that concept? Why do I struggle entrusting my life to the very same hands that made it? 
  I know in my own life, I have cried out to God till I've had no more tears to shed, no more words to say. I felt like God wasn't listening, like it was pointless to continue pouring myself out. What was I doing wrong? Why wasn't I seeing any results? I came to realize, it wasn't the actions I was taking that were wrong, but the actions I wasn't taking. The things I were holding onto were an excuse, security for me; a safety padding, acting like rubber would react to a lightening strike. I cried out for change, and change couldn't happen without burning away the dross surrounding me. The things God had for me, were being deflected by the insecurities and pride I hid behind. I needed to look past the emotional out pour, and to the studs (no, not my boys), the innermost parts of me that needed to be stripped away. Things I needed to just trust God to take care of and pray with expectation of some thing great! 
  I think we some times cry out because it's what we're taught to do, out of routine. Imagine the things that would happen if we could just completely let go, and have that child-like vulnerability and trust in Him? The faith and trust my son prays with, is something I strive for. The pure, simple, expecting spirit he exemplified really touched me. God used him to get to me, and I am so blessed to have such a wonderful God use such a beautiful blessing, as a vessel of His love to speak to me. 

⁷ “But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, 
   whose confidence is in him. 
⁸ They will be like a tree planted by the water 
   that sends out its roots by the stream. 
It does not fear when heat comes; 
   its leaves are always green. 
It has no worries in a year of drought 
   and never fails to bear fruit.” 
-Jeremiah 17:7 & 8

A new song!

     ⁶ This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you when I laid my hands on you. ⁷ For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. - 2 Timothy 1:6&7


  We all have our times where we get caught in a rut. I know it happens to me! We go through the motions, slap a smile on our face and "do our thing".. but in all actuality, everything is a blur and we just feel numb. We all hit dry spots, where we feel distant but that's not the rut I'm talking about here. I'm talking about when we feel comfortable. We have overcome obstacles and hit our peak and kind of just camp there for a while. What happens when we just lay around? We get lazy. We become careless. This is more dangerous than walking in the desert. 


  I like the analogy my high school science teacher used a few times (for something totally unrelated of course). He said, "If you boil a pot of water and try to stick a frog in it, it will jump out. But start that same frog in a pot of cool water and slowly bring it to a boil, it will stay there as it "acclimates" and gets "comfortable" in the temperature of it's surroundings." What happens to the frog? It dies. (I know what you're thinking; what is this chick talking about??) It is just like this for us in our spiritual walk. If we lay there and acclimate and get comfortable where we are with Christ, our thirst and our hunger will dwindle away.. our passion will die. So how do we pull ourselves out of our comfort zone? Simple, take a moment to step back and hear God. There is no break in His plans for us, we just need to seek out and listen to what He is calling us to do next. A great way to do this, is digging in to His word. 


  He has given each and every one of us a special calling and spiritual gifts. If we don't exercise them, we become lazy and spiritually out of shape. We were given these passions as a way to serve, and to also give us spiritual drive! If we are exercising our gifts, it doesn't mean we are feeding into the passion He has bestowed us. We need to be diligently searching and growing and stretching these passions to be a burning fire.. to keep a fresh anointing and to effectively live our lives the way He intended. This can be applied not only to our personal life, but in our ministries in our churches. In a ministry, this is not a pyramid scheme.. we're not all going to rise up an be the head of our ministry, but we can be spiritual warriors and are essential parts to building up an effective ministry!  


¹⁰ God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. ¹¹ Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen. 1 Peter 4:10&11


  Also, in the bible it is mentioned several times that we should "sing a new song"! I don't think this pertains to musicians alone, but to each of us in our own passions and seasons. All of our passions and gifts are songs of praise unto Him when used for His glory! We need to not get so stuck in what happened yesterday, but be excited for what He will do today!  Expect new things, and accept the challenges laid out before you. Sure they're a little scary some times, but oh how sweet to taste and see what He has for you next! 


He has given me a new song to sing, 
      a hymn of praise to our God. 
   Many will see what he has done and be amazed. 
      They will put their trust in the LORD. - Psalm 40:3


Be blessed!

Giving because it has been Given

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.- Philipians 4:19


  Merry Christmas! I trust you are all keeping in mind the real reason for the season as we all scramble to finish up shopping and prepping! I have always loved Christmas and look forward to that exciting time between Thanksgiving and Christmas, it always feels so magical! I remember how long it used to seem as a kid, waiting for Christmas to come.. it seemed like eons between the two Holidays.. boy does THAT change when you're an adult. Haha! 


  This year though, I'll admit I have been a little disconnected. I am not a lover of shopping.. spending money makes me feel ill and it also makes me feel guilty. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing my son's face light up when Christmas morning comes, or my husband get excited over a new gadget.. but in the back of my mind something is always pulling my thoughts to those suffering. I hate how Christmas has become so stressful, I hate that I know people are destroying themselves financially and sadly some times ending up taking tragic turns. Admittedly, this year is a first since our son has been born that we haven't had to turn to credit cards, or struggled to buy gifts.. but in a way for me it's been harder. I feel wrong for having a little extra, for finally catching a break and I ask myself "why?" We are hard and honest workers, we are God fearing and thankful for what we have, so why the guilt? Then I came to realize, it's no so much guilt.. it's compassion. It's having been through those hard times, having walked across the hot coals. It's that still small voice saying "remember me". It's God reminding me where I have been, and why I am where I am today and giving me ways to help others in the place I once was. 


   I heard of a friend who helped another and she described the look of children's faces as they tore through boxes of shampoo and food with joy. It was not so long ago my family and I were there. It's foreign to some how much joy a simple box of essentials can bring to those in need. Just this past summer we had about $15.00 to feed our family of 3, for 2 weeks. It was that week I walked in to our hallway to find a big white box sent from my husband's co-worker, full of meats and wept in thanksgiving. God carried us, it wasn't an easy time by any means.. but some how our needs were always met. 
Isn't that always like our God? 


  He supplies all we need. However, I don't think He ever intends us to have MORE than we need, and I think a lot of us desire that at times. He gives unto us, so that we can give unto others. He blesses us with gifts whether it be financially, spiritually, intellectually.. so that we may in turn bless others. THIS IS AN AMAZING GIFT! He wants us to share in His EXCITEMENT and JOY.. what else would these feelings be described as but heavenly? He gave the ultimate gift, His son and in that alone we should be overjoyed! We spread a little glimpse of that joy, in that same attitude of giving as He provides for us to give. This isn't limited to just Christmas, or just gifts. All year long we have the gift of giving hope and love; the simple things, the essentials. If your gift is encouragement, give it.. if you are given financial blessings, bless others.. or if the only possession you have is time, give it. WHY? Because God has blessed you with what you have, so that you can bless others. 


From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.- Luke 12:48


Blessings to you and yours this Christmas <><

Think of others

 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive.  No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. 1 Corinthians 10:23&24 


   Sometimes I look around, and I see things that anger me. I see things I am doing, or ways I am thinking and need to fall to my knees once again. I see people hurting and I see nobody there to lift them up. I hear slander and gossip, I see so many pointing fingers and constantly searching for flaws. What are we creating by doing this? What do we hope to accomplish? Why do we constantly allow the urge of revenge to well up and take over our conscience? 


  It's so easy to put the blame on someone else for the way you are feeling. It's so easy to just blast another for the wrongs they have done, but what really happens is self destruction. We don't need to constantly rake through others lives to find the blood diamonds that stain their lives, we have plenty of our own. We should be constantly sifting through our own motives and finding the imperfections we need to improve on. We should be lifting up each other in prayer even if we don't agree with a particular person's standing. As we lift them in prayer, we're asking God to humble and heal us, and for His will to be done. 


   As we go about our lives, we need to be aware of our actions and words. There comes a time in Christian maturity where we "know better". Out of all the things that have come to pass, what bothers me the most is how we, as the examples we're supposed to be, have handled ourselves. We have thrown each other in to the pits, and laughed as we walk away, gloating of our supposed accomplishment. We have slandered and gnarled our teeth, we have lied and raised fists. Brothers and sisters, this has greatly affected those younger in faith. It has taught them to be hardened against the beauty of newness and hate growth that change brings. It has made us look no different than a group of drunkards brawling at a tailgate party. It's shameful and disappointing. 


   We are not gaining a gold star because we are finding wrong in others. We are not doing ourselves good by stepping on our brother or sister to make ourselves a pedestal. Be aware of how you perceive others, and do your best not to influence your opinion up on some one else. If someone wrongs you, sure call them out on it, but follow the protocol that was given to us in Matthew 18. Words are so easily spilled to intensify a problem, but it takes good character to conduct them to rectify one.  


Think about it, it takes more effort to pull a trigger, than to hold out your hand in a peace offering.     


Love in Christ <><


¹⁹ Have you been thinking all along that we have been defending ourselves to you? We have been speaking in the sight of God as those in Christ; and everything we do, dear friends, is for your strengthening. ²⁰ For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder. ²¹ I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged.- 2 Corinthians 12:19-21

Mountain top by mountain top

    This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,  and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.- Romans 3:22-24


    There is quite a lot about this scripture that has really just dug itself in to my heart. There's so much said in a profound yet simple way.. the most important of which is it's pointing that nobody gets to the kingdom on their own! Just as equally important, not one of us is more deserving of His grace than the other. In fact not one of us is worthy of His grace AT ALL. This is just another point that proves our God is GREATER. In His perfection, He has forgiven our flaws.. why should we not try to do the same? Because one of us struggles with something the other doesn't.. or has wronged a person who is dear to us.. doesn't make them less than us in His eyes. Who's to say you that you would have reacted differently if put in similar situation? Aren't we all victims of sin and bad choices? Haven't we at one point or another wronged another person or God Himself? 


   I believe in the saying that time heals... it takes time to close opened wounds. It also takes humility and surrender, even if it takes one day at a time. The important part is to keep walking forward. The past is a learning experience, and certain situations may trigger memories or past feelings. We are human and feelings are part of our nature, the crucial factor is what we do with those feelings. So what do we do when our past jumps in our face? Pick it up, and hand it back to God. (It's kind of like that annoying sock that seems to always fall out of the laundry basket on your way up the stairs.. you have to pick it up and put it back) Every time we overcome in Him, is another mountain top we have reached. Moving forward doesn't mean we will forget about the past, moving forward means we make a new beginning. 


    I think some times we think of ourselves as a surface. Like a counter-top perhaps. What do we do when some thing spills on a counter top? We clean it up... we use a sponge or paper towel and wipe it clean and the mess is gone. Our magnificent Lord made us with much more depth and much more intricate than a surface. We don't all work the same, therefore we are fixed differently. He knows our needs.. He knew before we even had a past. He is the only one who has the blue prints and tools to fix us up; if we allow Him to, He will. 


    In moving forward and healing, a huge reminder we all need is as sure as there is no God greater or higher than ours.. there is no brother or sister we are greater or higher than. Cancelled sin=cancelled social class. We were not meant to condemn one another, for only God holds the power and divine authority to do that, He is Ruler. 


   to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us.- Ephesians 1:6-8

God block

Psalm 15

A psalm of David. ¹ LORD, who may dwell in your sacred tent?
   Who may live on your holy mountain?
 ² The one whose walk is blameless,
   who does what is righteous,
   who speaks the truth from their heart;
³ whose tongue utters no slander,
   who does no wrong to a neighbor,
   and casts no slur on others;
⁴ who despises a vile person
   but honors those who fear the LORD;
who keeps an oath even when it hurts,
   and does not change their mind;
⁵ who lends money to the poor without interest;
   who does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
   Whoever does these things
   will never be shaken.


    No person on this earth matches this to a "T". Many strive, but we are human and we fall short, it's life. I wonder though when it's evident that some of us have dismissed these virtues (consciously or not) and they're involved in a position that affects us, do we approach them about it? Serving in any capacity that puts you "in charge" comes with mass amounts of accountability and trust has to be earned. I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but how do we get so easily rounded up, and put right back where we started? Where's the line between "God's plan" and "man's plan?" Do toes need to be stepped on to get beyond where we are? I get so stuck between what I see going on, and what is "right" as a Christian. The truth is, God is not going to wrestle us for control, He doesn't need to.. it's as pointless as arguing with a toddler. So when is it okay to NOT agree and be comfortable with the way things are going? I know God always takes care, but is it enough to sit back and say that, or do we at some point need to take action?


   My friends, my heart is so broken and so heavy.. and some times I feel wrong for it. I feel wrong because I hear "there's unity" and "things are changing", but I don't see it and feel like I'm the only one. I feel like I've cried out to God so many times about the same thing over the past year, that He has me on "God block" (you know, like mom block when your kids are constantly calling your name?) I have had confirmations on some things, but I get insecure and wonder if they're my own thoughts instead. I pray that above anything God keeps me humble and helps me to be transparent, even when it's hard to be. If the change that needs to take place is in me, it is well and I embrace it.. but I pray for the wisdom and strength to not be cowardly or lead astray, but to stand firm in His truth and not be shaken. 




⁶ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. ⁷ Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.- Peter 5:6&7

“I am the Lord, and I do not change."- Malachai 3:6

 I've come to learn that there are 2 types of change. Some times we are asked to stand still as things change around us, and some times we are asked to change while things around us stay the same. Neither sort of change is better than the other.. but more often than not, they serve a greater purpose. Changes are stressful, and can be scary.. but they are necessary to fulfill plans God has for each of us. This word has come up in so many of my conversations and just in my life in general over the past few months. It's for this reason I love talking to people and learning about them.. people of all ages and backgrounds. It's the one thing we ALL have in common, the one thing we ALL face from time to time.. change is a never ending learning experience for everyone. It stretches us, molds us and keeps us fresh.

   Whether we are happy, angry or sad about the change that lies ahead of us.. there's one thing I have observed about change.. we always get through it. It seems at times, like it has taken half a life time to get through it.. but we just do. WHY? There is one thing about change we can't see.. and never will understand.. it has always been "part of the plan". God composes love songs for each of us, and He already knows where the next note lays, and one after that... and the one after that. The composition may be difficult at different measures, but is always written flawlessly and played out in His time. 


  Change is a constant struggle because we're human, we don't like feeling out of the know.. but if we knew ahead of time, how many shorts cuts would we take? How many precious moments would we have missed out on? Change is scary and uncomfortable.. sometimes excited and needed as well.. but if you really embrace it and cling to God who is constant through it all, there are so many blessings in store! So today, I'm choosing to cling to His word and His promises.. and letting His love song for my life, ring in an unheard melody of praise to Him! To God be the Glory, great things He has done, and is doing and will forever continue to do!  



 ¹¹ But the Lord’s plans stand firm forever;
      his intentions can never be shaken.- Psalm 33:11

Forgiveness walks with Compassion

   Forgiveness is important... and though compassion is needed to forgive, the act of forgiving ensues compassion. In many ways forgiveness opens the doorway to healing, to rebuilding. It's not until the most pivotal moments that this compassion bears it's heels down and gives you a swift kick of realization. It caught me off guard this past week.. it gave me a jolt and opened my eyes to the precious blessings we receive when we allow ourselves to be free and open portals of His love. It was indeed a precious moment that broke my heart yet gave me such a feeling of victory and freedom. Not because this other being was visibly broken, but because I had victory over the feelings of bitterness and anger. When we learn the way of Christ and become more like Him in the way we act and live, the more we stomp on the head of the enemy. When we forgive we rid ourselves of the poison it produces, our hearts can once again be clean and in one accord. Compassion enables us to grieve for one another, to love in humility and with kindness. Forgiveness isn't something you do to make yourself or the other person feel better.. it's something you do so you can move forward. 



¹¹ Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.
 ¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 
Colossians 3:11-13

Masquerade

                                     Masquerade
Stepping in to a crowd of fabricated smiles. Lined up in two rows, waiting to being.
The strings sing a sad song, a melody so sour. The dancing begins as all feelings dim.
The crowd becomes a mass of voices turning. So fast, so strong the walls turn to stone.
Spinning 'round and 'round in circles the colors start to blend, until everyone's painted the same.
We all play a guessing game, in this masquerade. - Jackie Kimball 2006 


  If there's one thing that wears on me in life, it's this game we all seem to play of masquerade. We put on these hideously designed masks of pure lies and self-hardened expressions. It's so painful and empty, and there's no contrast to our emotions. We are not cookie cutter people. We have been individually molded to be apart, but as one. Think about when you get a paper cut on your finger, you slap a band-aid over it and go on with your day; but it's so uncomfortable and distracting to wear. It's easier to leave the band-aid off, and use that finger more gently, and work with the others. Why is this not so in our lives? 


  Day in and day out, we call people friends. We are always running up to hear the story and give our advice, and while that's good, do you stop and think about that person after? How deep do you really take the words "I'll pray for you." when a friend says it to you, or you say it to them? Do your friends even REALLY know you? We need to share each-others burdens; Show mercy to another when we know they're going through hard times.


  It's sad to me that people get so caught up in knowing the problems of everyone else's life, but don't spend time being part of the solution. There are hurting people among us, some who have stories they're afraid to share and be judged about. They don't need your sympathy, they need your compassion.. spend time listening and offering advice, but when you go home remember them. You can spew out words that make them feel encouraged, but when you're done speaking, remember them. Remember them and take time to let them know and more importantly be an intercessor for them. Take your needs to the cross, take theirs too. 


  I feel like we think we're all supposed to have these fairy-tale lives, and it's simply not true. Everyone one of us has a personality flaw, or financial problems or just life troubles in general. But God's words commands us to lay our burdens at His feet. Why should we act as if we don't "need" to do that? We should be so grateful to have a God who is willing to acknowledge us, and take our sorrow and fears. We need to kill our pride, and wash ourselves from this game of "perfect world" and just be real. Don't wallow in self-pity, but ask your friends to pray for you.. and pray for them as well. 


 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.  If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves.  Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else,  for each one should carry their own load.  Nevertheless, the one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor.- Galatians 6:2-6