Masquerade

                                     Masquerade
Stepping in to a crowd of fabricated smiles. Lined up in two rows, waiting to being.
The strings sing a sad song, a melody so sour. The dancing begins as all feelings dim.
The crowd becomes a mass of voices turning. So fast, so strong the walls turn to stone.
Spinning 'round and 'round in circles the colors start to blend, until everyone's painted the same.
We all play a guessing game, in this masquerade. - Jackie Kimball 2006 


  If there's one thing that wears on me in life, it's this game we all seem to play of masquerade. We put on these hideously designed masks of pure lies and self-hardened expressions. It's so painful and empty, and there's no contrast to our emotions. We are not cookie cutter people. We have been individually molded to be apart, but as one. Think about when you get a paper cut on your finger, you slap a band-aid over it and go on with your day; but it's so uncomfortable and distracting to wear. It's easier to leave the band-aid off, and use that finger more gently, and work with the others. Why is this not so in our lives? 


  Day in and day out, we call people friends. We are always running up to hear the story and give our advice, and while that's good, do you stop and think about that person after? How deep do you really take the words "I'll pray for you." when a friend says it to you, or you say it to them? Do your friends even REALLY know you? We need to share each-others burdens; Show mercy to another when we know they're going through hard times.


  It's sad to me that people get so caught up in knowing the problems of everyone else's life, but don't spend time being part of the solution. There are hurting people among us, some who have stories they're afraid to share and be judged about. They don't need your sympathy, they need your compassion.. spend time listening and offering advice, but when you go home remember them. You can spew out words that make them feel encouraged, but when you're done speaking, remember them. Remember them and take time to let them know and more importantly be an intercessor for them. Take your needs to the cross, take theirs too. 


  I feel like we think we're all supposed to have these fairy-tale lives, and it's simply not true. Everyone one of us has a personality flaw, or financial problems or just life troubles in general. But God's words commands us to lay our burdens at His feet. Why should we act as if we don't "need" to do that? We should be so grateful to have a God who is willing to acknowledge us, and take our sorrow and fears. We need to kill our pride, and wash ourselves from this game of "perfect world" and just be real. Don't wallow in self-pity, but ask your friends to pray for you.. and pray for them as well. 


 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.  If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves.  Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else,  for each one should carry their own load.  Nevertheless, the one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor.- Galatians 6:2-6




  

Putting it before Him, or laying it before Him?

 Throughout our lives we question why certain aspect of our lives have gone awry, or haven't happened at all. Why has this happened for so and so, but not for me? We wait and writhe in the misery of feeling defeated, and feeling "it will never happen". For some, it's financially, relationship wise or a multitude of other things that are important to us. We forget that it's His timing, not ours. He has our best interest at heart, He see the whole picture. I believe in some cases, it's a result of sin by or or against us.. for finances it could be spending issues, in case of relationship it would be trust issues, whatever it may be. Then there are times we just feel stuck. What about those times?


  In the book of Exodus, we learn about our God in a different light.. He is jealous for us. You must worship no other gods, for the Lord, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you.- Exodus 34:14 Have the very things you've been waiting for become "god" in your life? Do you find yourself living for this object, person or aspiration? Does it consume your thoughts, and make you thirsty for just a sip? 


  I have found myself sinking in to daydreams and planning for things that aren't even reality yet. While it's okay to dream and think about "one day", it is poisonous to let it consume you. It's a dangerous thing when you approach the line of putting this aspiration or desire between you and Him. You can be sure that He will remove it to get to you, and some times it means destruction. Be careful of the things you long for, they may be the very thing making the road longer. Be aware of your weaknesses, and resist temptations. Keep in mind the words in Jeremiah (29:11) "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." 


   I am a dreamer, I love nothing than to think about the future and the things I hope to accomplish in life. Everyone needs a dream to make a reality, but dreams can become a curse when you long for them to happen, instead of taking action. How can I expect to see the directions and provision God is giving me, if I am building a statue blocking my vision? We all need to step back from the things we hope for and ask ourselves "Am I PUTTING it before Him, or LAYING it before Him?" 
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and He will give you everything you need.- Luke 12:31

"Play date" with Jesus

I never thought I would cry over a child pretending.. but when your son pretends he is watching Jesus on the cross, and he is on the verge of tears himself, it does some thing to your heart.

   Kai and Alyssa were playing quietly in the living room, when Kai picked up a piece of paper and pretended to read it. He turns to his cousin and says "Lyssa! We have to go to the Kingdom! It's far far away." I immediately thought he got it from the movie Shrek 2. So off they went into the" Kingdom", which just so happens to reside in my kitchen. I hear him whispering, and asked him what they were doing (it's a mom thing) he told me "shhh we're hiding in the Kingdom". Assured that they weren't trying to escape, I sat back and just listened from the other room. I heard Kai whisper "see? see the angel lyssa?" Then a few moments later he whispered "let's find Jesus.." So they walk slowly in the living room in search of Jesus. Malakai then changed the story saying, "Look! There's Jesus! He's up there on the cross! That guy's gonna hurt him.." While Alyssa lost interest being the younger one, Kai turned to me and said "Look mommy! Jesus is on the cross!" As he told me, his eyes filled with tears, that he tried to smile away. He started to rub his eyes and walk over for a hug. Of course I reminded him of the rest of the story as he walked over.. and he joyfully told Alyssa "Look! He's alive!" He told me that Jesus was going up to Heaven, and pretend to wave and say good-bye. Then he asked Jesus "Can I go with you??" and pretended to hold Jesus' hand and took Alyssa's hand and they walked together to "the Kingdom". 

I wanted to share this because it's amazing to me that Jesus gives us ALL understanding. He knows exactly how our minds work.. He can give wisdom and understanding even to a child. The message of salvation is so simple.. He makes it so easy and we complicate it with fear. Fear to share, and fear to believe.. all He asks is we acknowledge Him and ask for forgiveness. Why is it so hard to explain as adults, when a child can play it out? I pray that I can truly acquire a child-like faith. What an awesome thing to see your son "play" with Jesus :)

Psalm 116:5-7

 ⁵ How kind the Lord is! How good he is!
      So merciful, this God of ours!
 ⁶ The Lord protects those of childlike faith;
      I was facing death, and he saved me.
 ⁷ Let my soul be at rest again,
      for the Lord has been good to me.

My thoughts on Bin Laden..

   We have defeated a great enemy, are you rejoicing?


   I began to but like other friends of mine, a lot of thoughts went through my mind. First off, is this a hoax for political gain? Seeing as how it's the headline around the world, I'm going to say no it's not a hoax. It's hard to trust the media, but even though I don't care for him as a President, I don't think Obama is foolish enough to hit a new low and announce such a sensitive subject for our country, without cold hard facts. 


  Next I thought, am I wrong to rejoice with my country? I don't think God rejoices in seeing men fight each other, or seeing a man die without knowing Him. However, I don't think He is against war.. He himself ordered Israelites to go to war against other nations. He used war more than once to dissolve powerful leaders, and as awful a person he was, Bin Laden was powerful. I also thought about in the book of Exodus, and how God Himself allowed Pharaoh's heart to harden. Am I saying God allowed Bin Laden's heart to harden? Not necessarily. Maybe Bin Laden never heard of Jesus? The fact is we will never know. But God took Pharoah from the face of the earth with a hard heart, he needed to be removed in order for other things to take place. 


"And once again I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, and he will chase after you. I have planned this in order to display my glory through Pharaoh and his whole army. After this the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord!” So the Israelites camped there as they were told.- Exodus 14:4


  Lastly, what is going to happen now?? We aren't sure, and it is worrisome. I've decided to do nothing but follow His word on this one. If we sit here and think of all the possibilities, good and bad we will drive ourselves mad! I pray for all the muslims in our country, that they won't have to face discriminatory remarks and stereotypes like after 9/11. The more we worry, the more chance for skepticism and with that I believe we nurture the beginnings of hatred. "


So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today."- Matthew 6:34


  I can't speak for you, but I know I will be rejoicing with my country. Not because a man has died, but because as a nation under God, we have been able to conquer! Remember David and Goliath.. Israel and Judah rejoiced in their victory, and though Bin Laden wasn't physically a giant.. he was a powerful giant as a leader. Our God is greater, and stronger.. and though it is sad to see souls die without knowing Christ.. we are not wrong in my opinion, to rejoice in conquering a giant!     


1 Samuel 17:51-54
When the Philistines saw that their champion was dead, they turned and ran. ⁵² Then the men of Israel and Judah gave a great shout of triumph and rushed after the Philistines, chasing them as far as Gath and the gates of Ekron. The bodies of the dead and wounded Philistines were strewn all along the road from Shaaraim, as far as Gath and Ekron. ⁵³ Then the Israelite army returned and plundered the deserted Philistine camp. ⁵⁴ (David took the Philistine’s head to Jerusalem, but he stored the man’s armor in his own tent.)


God Bless America and thank you to our troops for defending us! 



 

Nothing is impossible

Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But not with God. Everything is possible with God.” - Mark 10:27

    There have been many things in my life that I have deemed impossible. Over and over I think and say "I can't do it" or "that will never happen". I'm not normally a pessimistic person, but there are some dreams I give up on because I attempt to pull my "dreamer" mentality into a "realist" mentality. I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing. If I put limits on the things I am passionate about or would like to see happen, then maybe I am putting limits on God? 

    I believe we are all made in accordance to His perfect will. I believe that He works miracles as means to encourage us, to remind us He is still a living God. I believe if He calls, He will equip. But I also believe we all come across our equipment in different ways, and always at the perfect time! Our equipment can be anything we need to further His kingdom in the way He has required us. For some, it's a life-changing miracle (or maybe many!) for some it's finances and for others it may be people to keep us accountable. There are so many ways God can equip us. I also believe He allows us to go through situations, to allow a little bit of breaking down so He can build us up into some thing better. 

    These things in my life I thought I "let die" and gave up dreaming about, I have felt God digging out of me. It's like watching a child put a puzzle together, and not finishing it because it's too hard. God is telling me to pick up the pieces and continue trying. It may take me a week, a year, the rest of my life.. but I know I don't want to miss out and be left with a missing piece in the beautiful life He has blessed me with! It's not always going to be easy, and we're not always handed the things we need.. but we are blessed with abundance as we work in our obedience. No where in the word does it say He is the God of the easy.. but it does say He is the God of the impossible!!! 

Grace

Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.- Romans 6:14


   When I was a new Christian, there were things I didn't quite understand. Some things I have yet to find answers for, and others more simple as defining a word. When I was younger, the only time I would hear the word "grace" pertaining to God was when we would say grace at the table. Knowing what the term means now, I wonder how the term "give grace to God" ever came about? What is grace you ask? A pardon. 


  Grace. A pardon. A pardon for our incompetence, for our unworthy souls that we can be made clean, made whole. A pardon to wipe away every stain, and smooth out every wrinkle. What a God we serve, to give us His son as a sacrifice, to conquer death just to pardon us! His grace is more than enough.. if I can accomplish dying to self, and accepting His grace, yet have accomplished nothing else in my life, I would still leave this world so rich and so blessed.


   God grace is greater than our sin... it has to be, otherwise it couldn't cover our sin. God's grace is beyond our wildest imagination, bigger than we can think. We can never give grace like God. We are made in His image and maybe not to the magnitude  that He has given to us, we are in fact capable of bestowing grace to one another. A pardon, for wrongs done against us by a neighbor. I don't think we can fully embrace our pardon, our God given grace, until we learn to bestow it on others. What a sad thing it would be for us to not fully know His grace because we cannot practice it ourselves.   


   Maybe God is prodding you to share some grace with some one who has wronged you? Or maybe you need to ask for some one to pardon you for some thing you have done? We have been pardoned for so much more, in a much more brutal and shameful way. Is your pride really that important?


   When we ask for His forgiveness and in that recognize He gave graciously, so we can receive the grace we need, we are saved. We are saved, we are cleaned of every wrong we have done against Him. It doesn't mean we will never hurt, or never endure hardships it means there is NOTHING in between you and our Heavenly Father. You are His beloved, His perfect creation and He will move Heaven and Earth to come find you. Feel free to email me if you would like to talk more about this, or want me to pray with you. jackie.kimball@yahoo.com


A good way to start is by reading the book of John.  


Be blessed!

Keep walking

   The desert place, we've all been there and will go through them for as long as we live. We all cross bridges, we all go through seasons, it's part of life. The tougher places in life that seem so barren and forlorn are not as desolate as they may seem. They are a place of beauty in their own way, they're the times we can do nothing BUT rely on Jesus to rescue us. We wrestle back and fourth till we are so worn out emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. In these times, what else can we do but cry out to Him? In these times He has you right where He wants you. 


   We are always encouraged to keep our eyes on Him, to just keep pressing on. The dryness and weariness try and weigh us down, and pull our focus off of Him. We start seeing the oasis, and ponder if we should just rest there until we can press on. We're tempted to just give up and set up camp. Do we realize how truly dangerous this is? Where else is the oasis located, but in the middle of the desert? It is part of the desert, and though it may be appealing and full of fresh springs and vegetation, how long will it be until we become prey to the wild beasts who are also hungry?  We hear it in our hearts, that still small voice telling us to press on, to keep our eyes on Him. In fact we cannot press on unless our focus is fully on Him. We would die there in the desert. 


   Our walk with God is full of many seasons, climates and different lands. Everything around us is constantly changing and growing and decaying. Still He remains the same. Have you ever compared pictures of the moon from around the world? It's the same moon, but depending on where you are standing, it can look a little different. It's the same with God. As we continue walking and seeking to know Him more, our view will change, but He never will! 


⁶ “I am the Lord, and I do not change. That is why you descendants of Jacob are not already destroyed. ⁷Ever since the days of your ancestors, you have scorned my decrees and failed to obey them. Now return to me, and I will return to you,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies- Malachai 3:6&7